Day 2, I have created a monster

I didn't sleep much last night. Seemed like I was hearing a voice. I'd started on the head and mussel of my creature. Nose seemed rather...large. Poky, poky, still too big. Took the scissors to it. Poky, poky, give up and work more tomorrow.

The voice said "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING????!!! LOOK AT THAT NOSE! FIX THAT THING RIGHT NOW!! Look, dummy, do it this way..."

I still don't know what the beast is, but it's loud, fussy and bossy. That looks like a bear nose to me. I was planning on poking it some more until it got smaller. The other way DOES seem better though.

I woke up tired, and annoyed I had to interrupt felting to go to a job interview. Plus I'm too tired to think. But...the nose. I....just....don't.....know....

I think it wants a whole new head. Pushy, pushy, pushy.

Watch out buddy. As soon as I score some orange roving, I have an idea. You're only my first creation. You could become obsolete really quickly if you turn out ugly.

DAY SOMETIME LATER

The good news...I have yet to draw blood. The bad news. I need more colors. I need some black, some pink. Blue. COLORS darn it!

So, thinking of getting some black wool, I took apart one of the expensive wool coats Bethany bought me. I was thinking, it's a black tweed with tiny white threads and touches of pink, but the main color is black, lets see how it felts up.

Well, the second I cut into it, I realized that unraveling it was no problem. The entire coat has a iron on lining. Now I know why, it self destructs. So I take a few threads, they seem to fray nicely...a few stabs with the needle, and I know it's not wool. Cotton with acrylic bits is my bet. It has black leather rills over the shoulder, and makes a big deal out of being made in the USA out of imported fabric. Doesn't mention it's mystery fabric. It will make a cute dog coat with a full lining, and I can use the leather strips for making bear or puppy noses.

Then I thought, I have some Homespun yarn just sitting there. On the knitting boards, it has a bad reputation. On the felting boards, they say acrylic is too slick. It certainly unravels easily, which is what gave me the idea. So I wad it up, do exactly what I do with the wool. Yes, it feels completely different. It does felt slightly better and is a much prettier color than the black gunk. So now I know how it's NOT supposed to feel.

The creature is coming along. I made more tummy and it's eye patch color is down. I'm still working on it's nose. I suspect it's a much younger creature than I originally thought. But I need wire, some eyes, and maybe some thread before I go any further. And, as mentioned, some colors. One of the ladies on the Teddy Talkers board lives close by, so I think I'm going to ask her to go shopping with me. I have no idea where to go, and it will be fun to see another artist, especially one that has some experience in this.

Felting, a blood sport

Some things are just meant to be. My 9:30 job interview turned out to be tomorrow. Not my fault, so I don't care. I did however, take the opportunity of dragging K to the Mission Mill in hopes of finding fiber artists who could set me on the right track. No local leads, but had a great time. Then we went to Have You Any Wool, who on the phone had admitted to having needles, but no felting animal kits and sounded totally lost.

Well, oddly enough, the lady I talked to yesterday was the same one as today, she still had the needles out. No, she had never heard of needle felting sculpture, but it turned out they did have kits for design, the same as I'd seen on-line. So, needles, sponge, mohair package in hand I returned home. I could hardly wait to begin.

Then, typically, I chickened out. I have no patterns, no instructions. So I spent the whole day at Teddy Talk. I think I love everyone there! Here it is 2 am, and I am finally ready to begin. I think. I hear I will lose blood to this. OK, no problem. Did I mention I have a 9:30 job interview to go to later today? Oh, just get ON with it!

If I don't write anything after this, some one come check on me. I will be slumped over my keyboard, passed out from blood loss. (OMG, what a DRAMA QUEEN this woman is!)

OK, which is the fattest needle, got it, poky, poky, poky, stabby, stabby, stabby, nothing is happening! How much of this stuff do I use? How long before something happens? Wrap wool around stick, got it, but how much? I want minute directions! Which direction do I wind? Windershins? How many times do I stab? At what angle and speed?

Hubby comes in kisses me goodnight, with that resigned, I know I won't see her until morning look. And yet, he bought this for me, what a sweety! On the good side, if I get good at this, it's something I can do in bed on my bad days. Did I mention we have a waterbed? Poky, poky, sploosh! Hey, if Tarly's Mandarian length razor sharp claws didn't do it, nuthin' will. That cat was all softness except when she didn't want to be picked up. Then those hooks sunk into what ever she was on and never let go. Our poor air mattress became her first victim. Dang I miss her! This mohair is almost the right color, sigh. No patterns out there for mini Birmans.

Cool! It's starting to stick together! Now check size against pattern...PATTERN! WHAT PATTERN! THEY SAID YOU DIDN'T NEED A PATTERN WITH NEEDLE FELTING! I only have instructions, thanks to Carrie Attwood of Little Bloomers, who kindly published instructions for free. OK, look, there's a ruler, body about 2", good. Carrie, you have SO much good karma coming your way from this!

My roving is from New Zealand. My wool is better traveled than I am. A slight crackling, yep, they are right KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR WORK! No blood though. Pip is trying to pull the packaging into her cage. No, you silly glider, it's not edible. And yes, NZ is close to Australia where sugargliders come from, but you are a native Oregonian, you silly little marsupial. Have a niblet and settle down, if I get good at this I'll felt you a friend.

After an hour, I now have a wad of wool that looks like a mutant silk worm cocoon. Ah, progress! How firm is firm? No blood yet.

I am now adding bits of wool to "build the body up". Don't know if I'm being successful, but it's less painful than the rare occasion when I've tried to build my own body up. My cocoon, um, body has shrunk so I am adding wool at both ends to make it very solid and back out to two inches.



Well, the mutant silk worm hasn't started talking to me yet. Probably because it doesn't have a head. I've never made the body first, I don't think I will again. It's unerving not knowing who you are making. I don't even know if it's a boy or girl yet Usually by now I'm starting on it's family history going back generations. I thought this was such an organic, hands on thing, I would be naturally carried away. Hmm. It's a mystery guest so far. I don't even know what kind of creature it will be.

Wet down the outside of it slightly, then rubbed it on Moosie for luck. His fur ends up in everything anyway. He liked that a lot, until he sniffed what I was holding. There will be no mistakes in this house, anything that doesn't work will become a cat toy. He REALLY liked the cocoon! Must begin on face, this is bugging me.

It's 4:40 am, I have to get up pretty soon, so I guess I'd better hit the sack. It's a creature, that's all that I've got so far. It may be Siamese.

Bearly collecting

I don't collect bears. I enjoy other people's collections, but I've never really been a teddy bear person. However, hanging around EBAY trying to pick up patterns and learning about needle felting, I may just start collecting bear artists.

Dolls, that's a world I'm much more familiar with. When I create a doll, it takes on it's own life. Saved that beautiful ombre blue ribbon for her hair? Too bad, she doesn't like blue, she wants ORANGE! OK, "she" is inanimate materials, but that doesn't seem to have much to do with it. It's the same way when I write, my characters often want to complicate the plot. Like the time I wanted Mary to get up early to go painting in the meadow with Jo, but she insisted on making love to her husband first. C'mon, I'm thinking, lets get to the meadow and find the necklace! But no, Mary was too busy smooching. I just could not write the next scene without doing a discrete fade to black. Jo was really pissed that Mary was so late too!

So, my creations have their own lives. I've come to terms with that, as my artwork benefits from it, if my sanity doesn't. Doll artists are great because a lot of them have the same skewed inner life. But then you get to bear artists.

Dolls can be fantasy, but most look like people. Not so much any more, but it started that way and really has only been evolving much since my lifetime. Bear artists, they don't seem to have that problem. Their inner lives are even wilder and less restricted. Their creations may or may not look like an animal, but they can give you it's personality benefits and defects. How they started out making a little fox to steal an egg from the hen house, but she was too innocent, so she ended up with a jump rope instead. How the tiny Yorkie was supposed to be a shy, timid little girl, but turned out to be The Queen of Everything (just like a real Yorkie). What's more, they will share their inner worlds on their web sites, in detailed pictures. Worlds in which I feel right at home, especially the needle felters.

And when you talk to these people, they are NICE. They are happy to share their world with you. You don't buy their creations, you adopt them. I'm still mostly lusting after non-bears, but there are some I've seen that I would love to have. And I'm getting a Yorkie finally. I'll make her myself, but I will have one. I have a few photos of Whimsy around here somewhere, and she shall rise again in mohair and glass. At least this time, she'll be housebroken.

Tomorrow, the great needle hunt begins. After that, no sheep, long haired goat, rabbit or camelid is safe from me.

Alien eyeball purse

Ok, what can I say. There was this heinous purse on You Knit What.com. Several of the ladies suggested that the um, bobbles, looked like alien eyes. The other suggestions weren't that clean, but were highly appropriate. Anyway, then I start seeing this purse like it could be. Artists are highly visual you see. And just weird enough to spend some quicky time in Photoshop to share the...joy. Or...whatever. I give you, the Fugly Alien Eye Purse. And now, I apologize. But I'm still snickering under my breath!


link to YouKnitWhat

Oh boy! Another hobby!

Reading and snickering through another day's worth of "You Knit What", someone put in this lovely link.
http://www3.interhop.net/~sturgess/jamiesons/ffb06kit.htm
Um hum. It's a dead swan bag. Wonder how much that sucker weighs without anything in it? Look around that site a bit. Hmmm.

Well, I really, really want to take up needle felting. You can make tiny little animals that look real. I'm all totally gung ho on it. But somehow, I don't think life size swan bags are in my future.

Right now, I'm just trying to find directions. I'd love to buy a kit to make a Yorkie off of EBAY, but I just can't afford it. Must be a local group here somewhere in alpaca, mohair land. I know some sheep I can plunder. Nigel will be happy to donate his winter coat, and he's a BIG camel now. What is this compulsion to take up a new craft every week, without ever finishing anything. Well, that's not quite true. I do finish things, then I give them away. I have two rugs I made and that's about it. I like making more than keeping. But I do love tiny little animals, so I could make quite a few and still not take up much space, right? Sure. This cold is making me light headed!

EBAY Addiction #42

Yippee! I won the dog pattern! This is Sugar, by Lisa Pay.
Somehow I don't think my version is going to look nearly as pretty. So far, she hasn't made a Powder Puff pattern, although she did do an original Chinese Crested I saw. I want to make my own version of Ti'an. Ti'an is actually Jewels Iced Latte Above The Clouds Aom

http://www.chinesecrested.no/registry/52943/Jewels+Iced+Latte+Above+The+Clouds+Aom.html

If you go to her site, there are some beautiful photos of her there. I met her briefly at the first dog show we did, and fell in love. Not something you can explain, just she is a sweet, sweet animal that is so pretty she looks unreal. If fairy's had dogs, this is what they would look like. I evidently have fairly good taste in dogs, as she is a winner in the ring too. Her owner was very sweet to me and let me hold Ti'an and take lots of photos, which due to the lighting, didn't turn out nearly as well as I would have liked. Still, if I get good at dog sculpting, I would like to try to get some of Ti'an's personality.

First, I'd better get my tush in gear and finish the St. Patrick's Day dress before the holiday is over!

Soooo Dullllll

I'm having much more fun in my sleep. I live in a nicer house and get to reject Ben Affleck. Yep, man of my dreams evidently and only my dreams. We'd watched a movie with him in it, and in my dream movie it was kind of a cross between Friends and...well, I don't know what. Anyway, Affleck's character made a pass at my character, which I nobly rejected (yes, I would in real life too. Waaaaay too young for me for starters) and the whole group split up taking sides, some on Ben's, most on my side. Oddly, most on my side were guys, giving the "no means NO!' speech, while the girls on his side just seemed to be miffed he hadn't made a pass at them! I hardly ever dream about movie stars, so this one seemed pretty funny. Kind of being stuck in a reality show unawares. Oh my god! You mean you had a camera running on me in the bathroom? When Cindy and Joe and I and the duck were going at it? Oh, I'm so shocked! I totally forgot I was on a reality show and being filmed 24/7, even though it mentioned that 2,334 times in the contract I signed.

I have to go make frou-frou dog clothes now. So far I am on EBAY winning a frou-frou dog pattern. I'm getting a poodle, since Velma has poodles. I really want to make a Yorkie, Pom, chi and Pappilion too. To begin with. Also, Lisa Pay, the artist has a really neat Schnauser pattern named Tramp. I mainly want to make that one because it looks so real. If I had the money, I would buy her Pomeranian toy all made up. I could buy several real Poms for the price, but then I would have to feed them and walk them. At any rate, she is one of my favorite new artists.
http://www.pedigreesroyal.com.

I also have been doing a lot of reading up on needle felting. Think I will have to try that. You can make itsy bitsy animals doing that. God, another hobby! I'd better get to work so I can afford a roof over my head!

It's a purse, no, it's an organ!

As mentioned below, my newest addiction is www.youknitwhat.com This was today's offering. I guess that Lion brand yarns came out with a uterus pattern but this, um, item is much more graphic.

The ladies and gents making comments there are always good, but this is classic. I'm hoping to get permission to put it on my site, since the comments disappear once the fugly is off the main page. So I will just try for now to link, the comment is the second one down, by molly. Although the rest are excellent too.
http://www.haloscan.com/comments/ykwykw/114202216518879625/



Matie Trewe even knitted an intestinal track. http://www.strangebuttrewe.com/knitGI.htm
It, however, is not nearly as gruesome as the thing posing as a purse. Look around at that site too, there are some really (intentionally) funny things. My favorite one is the squid hat! But as a combo, click on the squid hat. At the bottom of the page there is a link to Squid VS GI. Yeah, I could give the link here, but it's funnier when you build up to it. Also take a closer look at the hobo gloves.

I found a chenille boob http://www.straw.com/cpy/patterns/cot_chenille_boob.html and a knited womb. Such talent! But I can guarantee my ovaries never looked that good! Of course, ex-rays aren't exactly Technicolor.

A friend in nursing school took me through the med. library on the way to somewhere else. I happened to glance at a screen a student was watching, and there, in all it's glory, was a beating heart. Surrounded by fat, I may add. Yes, I did catch all that in the split second I saw the screen. Now, it's one thing to be at home, watching the tube and seeing a documentary. You can choose whether to see it or not, and at least you know it's coming. Much to my surprise, my legs suddenly went rubbery. Keeping my usual cool (yeah, right) I continued on, keeping my eyes focused on my guide's back.

Since then, life has taken a few weird turns. I watched them do the surgery on my beloved serval, Moosie, and when the intestines came out my reaction was "Oh good, they look healthy!" I've cut up beef, zebra and antelope for the big cats. (Before any one gets their panties in a wad, they had all died of natural causes and why waste them?) And while I admit, I sometimes had to run for fresh air, that purse thing is waaaaay uglier than anything I ever saw.

It looks malignant. (shudder)

Life got you down, pooky?

Got the drabs? The mean reds? The bottomless blues? I can't help you, but the folks at You Knit What? can. I don't even knit, but luckily some very witty people do, and they make wonderful comments on the "fashions" the yarn companies put out to lure us unthinking sheep into buying their weird yarns.
http://youknitwhat.blogspot.com/



I actually did buy some to make a hairy boa. A friend had sold a few and they were lovely. I got a good deal on the yarn and thought, I can crochet a little, how hard can a straight boa scarf be? Heck, I've even crocheted a duck (toy), a sweater for my then small daughter (started before she was born, finished by the time she was three and could actually wear it) and a purple-shiny shrug for her which was a weekend project that took me most of a year. So I bought a BIG crochet hook and started in. I had eyelash and fun fur, planning to make a few alternating rows of each. The first try looked like blue roadkill. I carefully and with great difficulty unraveled it. The second attempt looked like the poor thing had curled up to die a miserable death. It took an hour to crochet and about three hours to unravel. The next attempt made the roadkill look good. Fortunately, my friend Judy gave me a lovely pink knit boa for Christmas and told me to stop whining! It's every bit as warm and soft as I hoped it would be, plus I get to think of Judy instead of all the hell I went through trying to get the stupid furry yarn to work.

I'm finally going into the pet clothes business instead of just thinking about it. Yep, Renaessance designs for Loving Paws Boutique, where the discriminating dog shops. Actually, where the elite pet shops, I'll make clothes for anything. Just don't ask me for anything hand knit. Well, you can ask, but someone else would have to make it, not me!

So I still have some lovely soft beautiful novelty yarns. I'm thinking, put them in a bowl, take them out and snuggle them for a bit, like a woman trying on jewels, then put them back until I need another creative fix. Really, like I needed ANOTHER craft anyway.