The Great KoolAid Experiment

After a great deal of research, I decided to dye some of my batt purple. It seems the easiest way to do that is by dumping KoolAid on it. Well, there is a little more than that, and of course, being me, I research it six ways from Sunday.

Research done, KoolAid bought. All instructions seem to be for either roving, mohair fabric or yarn, none for batting. Oh well, I'm sure it works the same. Right? Right?

First, since I'm doing the microwave version, soak the wool in a glass bowl for at least half an hour. Now, I don't cook any more, and so I don't keep track of the dishes. But I did use to have a a fully stocked mixing and baking bowls and pans. Not a one now. Hmmm. Eventually I find a glass canister and poke my wool into that and cover it with water.

Intermission. We eat, watch Due South dvd, laugh over Moosie deciding that artichoke leaves are the next best thing to chicken, but ONLY if fed from Mom's fingers. Time to begin the experiment.

I had left the container with the wool on the kitchen counter. Now it has one little peak poking up, suspiciously like it had stuck to a cat's tongue when licked. But of course, my cats aren't allowed on the counter, so it couldn't be that! I crack myself up sometimes.

So, I empty out the water and take the wool out. Run hot water in the container, mix the package of KoolAid, poke wool back in. Hey wait a minute. I spent hours getting this stuff nice and fluffy. And now I'm skooshing it all up again? But I preservere, because that's what all the directions say, and I've seen some gorgeous colors. Run enough water in to cover. My wool expands again, but of course where it gets to the top, it doesn't have much color. Stir, stir. Doesn't help. Ok, zap in microwave for two minutes, let rest for two minutes. Run in and write on blog, so if this works, I can recreate it. If it doesn't I know what not to do . Riiiight.

Time to check on wool. Kitchen smells grapely wonderful. I don't actually like the taste of KoolAid much, but I do love the smell. And the verdict is...

Grayish purple. Just the color I didn't want. Why do other people get brilliant purples, I've seen them on their sites, not one has a grayish purple. Look at that, the picture on the grape KoolAid package is exactly the same!

The water is still blue. Not a bit of purple, just a nice, sea blue. I stir and cook for another two minutes. Check all the directions on 5 different sites. Cross fingers, eyes and toes and pray.

Maybe I need more KoolAid. It's one a.m. so hubby is not going to dash out and pick it up for me. I only have 3 or 4 ounces total, and I only used a third of that, so who thought it would take more than one package of KoolAid? Obviously not me. I have other colors, but I want PURPLE darn it. I wonder what would happen if I added Ice Blue Raspberry Lemonade. Why do they tend to make raspberry flavoring blue? And raspberry lemonade should be rather orangy, maybe a peachy color, shouldn't it? I mean, I did learn my color chart. But this is the world of food/buyer consumption. In other words, Lala land. Must check to see what color it is on the other sites.

Light turquoise. Pretty, but likely to muddy up purple. I also have Soarin' Strawberry Lemonade (what happened to just Pink Lemonade?), Cherry, and Black Cherry.

Ah, Black Cherry. Now, I told hubby to choose which colors he knew I like. So he had no idea what buying a package of Black Cherry KoolAid would do to me. He just thought it might make a nice purplish color.

Flashback. It's the prim and proper 1950's. Ike is in the White House. I am at a birthday party. I am wearing a dark plaid dress, and my hair is scraped back in a pony tail so tight my eyebrows are where my hairline should be. To this day, I attribute that to my not having hardly any forehead wrinkles. All the other little girls have black patent leather shoes. I have clunky "corrective" saddle shoes. This increases my gazelle-like grace. NOT! I also have on white gloves and maybe a hat that is giving me a headache. I have been threatened within an inch of my life to be a proper lady.

Aaaah, birthday cake! Oh, good, chocolate. Things are looking up! Not that awful cherry chip (because it isn't invented for a few more blissful years). And to drink...KoolAid. Just what I want to go with chocolate cake, citrus sour watery fruit drink. Please, at least let it be grape, please, please...

Dark Cherry. I think it probably was invented just in time to torture my childhood. I dislike fake cherry flavoring, but Black Cherry was the bane of my existence. It was touted on the new big screen (12 inch) black and white TV as THE thing to serve at children's parties. No one thought to ask the kids if they liked it.

And, because I am a proper little lady, I eat my cake and drink my poison. It never occurs to me to drop it on the grass, pretend to spill it, or, heaven forefend, ask for water instead. That would not be lady like. I must suffer, as all women before me have suffered (according to mom) and do what is Right and Proper. I gag it down. Could be worse. Could be cherry chip cake. And in a few years, it will be.

Repeat scene an infinite number of times, changing only the dress and maybe the gloves and hat.

Why in the world does the package say "Caffeine Free". It's got enough dye in it to color 40 white rats deep cherry, but we need assurance it's caffeine free? Lets see, Red 40, Artificial Flavor (no really? is that why I never had a cherry that tasted anything like this guck?) Blue 1. Do not store in metal container. That's because it makes people nervous to find their old, tarnished pitcher shiny and clean where the KoolAid has touched it. Or, if left long enough, small pit holes while the fridge is invaded by a creeping bog of Red 40, Blue 1. Cheers!

Interesting, plain old cherry also has Red 40, Blue 1. Ironically, they all have Red 40 except for Blue Raspberry Lemonade, which only has Blue 1. Wouldn't you think they would put at least a drop of red in, just to pretend raspberries have something to do with it?

Ah. The blue water. So that's Blue 1.

Brief intermission while I worry about Pudge, the sugarglider. Time to check on wool.

Hearing a noise, I flash the light around outside, checking for lurking junkies (I spent part of my day chasing them off). Not that it would do any thing but make them dive for the bushes. But since all the bushes are blackberry brambles, it would at least be satisfying.

The wool, when washed is...unsuccessful is a polite term. It ranges from almost undyed pale gray to red violet to mid grayish purple. Nor have I given any thought to where I'm going to hang it to dry in this cat strewn house. I've tossed over the shower curtain for now, but being free form, it won't stay there for long. Plus Ariel already has her eye on it. She has her "I must touch it because Mom touched it therefore I must adore it" look. Was that the wet splat of wool I heard? Must check.

Rescued in the nick of time. Ariel had yet to make the stretch to the curtain rod, but Morpheus entered the scene. One look and he just KNEW that was something he wasn't supposed to have. Nothing for it but to chase all kitties out of bathroom and shut the door. They will resent this, and begin banging on the door just as soon as we fall asleep. They will continue at calculated intervals. Note to self, do this during the day and hang it outside to dry. Where the horse can't get it.

Although it's hardly worth it. It's got the worst case of blotchy I've ever seen. Some blue, some still white, some lilac, not enough of anything to make anything but a mess. It might be pretty as mohair, but it's just pretty ugly as wool batt. Larger container, more KoolAid maybe?

Must ask Teddy Talkers. If nothing else, they will be sympathetic and have good ideas. After they stop giggling.